In the Schneider family, our experiences are represented by two separate yet equally important perspectives: The Father, whose views are fun but boarder on ridiculous and the Mother, whose views she believes, incorrectly, to be based on reality. These are their stories. Bum bum.



Monday, February 14, 2011

Shared Doodies

Submitted by Clayton...





Jenn and I are very good about sharing the work load associated with having children.

When KD was born Jenn had a book where she (ahem) logged KD's bowel movements.

Clayton: "Honey, KD has a walnut sized, coffee coloured poop here."
Jennifer: "Double Double?"
Clayton: "Yes."
Jennifer: "Let me know when you weigh it OK?"
Clayton: "Gross"

This fascination about all things related to baby poo led me to a song by The Arrogant Worms called "Baby Poo".  If you haven't already, go back and click play on the cassette above....

There, that's better.  It seems that Jenn's feces fascination was not hers alone, I mean, they wrote a song about the subject...!

This song quickly became a favourite with my pre-teen nephews.  Even now, four years later, if one starts singing this song, they all jump in and howl "Ba-by poo, Ba-by poo, all I talk about is baby poo..."  This was the gift I provided my sister, Jessica - the gift of supermarket embarrassment.

Now that we have Zach, Jenn could care less about poo spreadsheets or creating "Zach's very first photo book of poo".  The second child always misses out.

Instead, Jenn and I have created a game for Zach.  I call it "Shared Doodies".  You need 2 people to play, as well as a baby with a freshly dirtied diaper.  It is best if the 2nd person is not aware they are currently playing the game.  You raise the child up, hiding the fact that he has a huge bulge of stink under his bum.  You then place the huge bulge of stink directly on the other player's face, innocently saying "I can't smell anything, do you think he needs a change?"  Then laugh and laugh and laugh - you are now up 1 point.

Jenn also accidentally created a poo game for Zach, when she was changing Zach's diaper with too much gusto and whipped what turned out to be a full diaper over her head.  It is called spackling, and it is best not played without a cupboard of cleaning products on hand.  When done properly, the room will look like a dune buggy was spinning its wheels in a mud bog in your child's room.
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3 comments:

  1. Carolyn WardFebruary 15, 2011 at 10:03 PM

    Was the "Bum Bum" at the end of your blog description a foreshadowing of this post?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Big DipperFebruary 16, 2011 at 12:30 AM

    I am assuming that you do realize the description is a rip off of Law and Order. The bum bum I believe was placed at the end of Law and Order's intro as a nod to our blog and in particular my post which has been in production and kicked around Hollywood for some time now.

    I believe we are being followed by several famous personalities including:

    Austin Power's "Number 2"
    Mordecai Richler's "Jacob Two Two" and of course,
    Winnie The Pooh

    Clayton

    ReplyDelete
  3. honest diapersJune 21, 2013 at 1:13 AM

    We are on our 2 second child and still use the honest diapers brand. With my 1st daughter we tried some less expensive brands and they all leaked. Honest NEVER LEAKED....My new little one is 4 months and sleeps all night long. When she gets up in morning, the diaper is so full to the max but the sheets and her clothing are all very dry!!

    ReplyDelete

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