The Name Game

Submitted by Clayton...

There is a lot to consider when you find out you are pregnant. I believe that is why God gives us 9 months of Woah! time. If you've ever been on a big roller coaster, those nine months are much the same as that first big climb up the tracks. You can't go back, you've got lots of time to think about how scary it is and some people vomit.

One of the things that you will keep in the back of your mind for the whole nine months is what are you going to name your peanut? You keep thinking that it is something to think about and then all of a sudden it's weeks away and all you've come up with are the names you hate. Now you add your husband or wife and it seems like opinions will never jive. Eventually you both will have a short list and it will look something like this;

HERS

Braidennn (it's got to be spelled uniquely of course)
Benji (she's loved since she was a kid - good thing her favorite show wasn't "the littlest hobo")
and Patrick (as in Dempsey although she pretends that is coincidental)

HIS

Bono (it is a perfectly acceptable name)
Romeo Montague (you have to set him up right)
Harley (as in Davidson, you can't argue with cool - well apparently the wife can)

There will be lots of angle shooting once the lines in the sand are drawn. I know when Jenny and I were choosing names, she was like coo coo clock that says no in regular intervals. I tried to bring up my very favorite choices when she was eating chocolate or when we were having a particularly good time at dinner. The throw away names I would bring up regularly to wear her down for the good ones.

None of this worked. If she had a name, I would give it the appearance of serious consideration, before agonizingly saying "I'm not sure about that one, I'll have to think about it some more."


Then it happened. Jenny suggested a name I liked. "Jonah" she said. My brain loved it and my mouth said "Why, because he came from the belly of a whale?"

My son's name is Zach.

The problem with pointing out something hilarious about a potential name is that the joke is the main association the name holds from then on and you can't unjoke it.

Whatever you finally come to name your your child, they will fit the name. In hindsight all the other possibilities you considered will feel wrong because just as Jonah became associated with the belly of my wife, your child and all his personality will become associated with his own name, so that any other name will sound fishy.

Clayton