Bikes, Bagels And Incapacitated Cookies

Submitted by Clayton...

Monster Cookie Monster

Mmmmmm bagels!

WWWWWWWWHHHAAAATTTTTTTTTTT?  Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes, Thank you Daddy, Thank you mommy, YES!!!

Kadence loves to love the things she loves.  You would think that if this is her reaction to going for a walk, she would seizure her way through Christmas morning.

Before we could go on our adventure, we had a few errands to do.  We piled into the car and headed to the butcher's for some sirloin steaks to BBQ, then we headed to the baker's where we picked up some mouth-watering bread and some treats for our walk.  (Did you know that candlestick maker's do not work on Mondays?  Very strange.)

Kadence headed the convoy with her 2009 Dream Journey with Dual wheel assist suspension.  Zach brought up the rear with his little red wagon.  (The front seat's broken and the axel's dragging).

Midway through our adventure we stopped for our snacks.  Both kids ate a bit and saved the rest for dessert  as supper would be soon.

One hand on his dessert and one eye on his Mom.

As I prepared supper, I heard the 5 O'Clock bells chime...

"Zach!  What do you have in your mouth?"

(Yup, right on time - every hour on the hour.)

I peered around the corner to see Jenn kneeling on the floor with a wrinkled up nose saying "Ewww, Zachey, we do not eat food off the floor, that's gross, OK Bud?"  and then turning to me "What is this?  I'm sure it's food but, I have no idea what it is supposed to be."  (She had a point - I have no idea what it was, but it might've had an oat in it - definitely food though, very strange.)  She turned back to Bud "No more eating off the floor, supper's coming right away."

With that she plunked him in the booster seat.

Food was served, food was eaten.

For dessert the kids were given the rest of their adventure treats; Zach an oatmeal and raisin cookie and Kadence a bagel.  (She doesn't know that donuts aren't called bagels - Jenn doesn't correct her - it is one of her buffalo hay bales).  -----> When you point the finger at someone honey, 4 fingers point right back at you......and don't throw rocks in glass houses....he without sin...lead balloons and come on legorillpass themurphiesaaaaahhhhhhhhhoooooOOOKKKKKKK so that went off topic...

Zach ate a couple of pieces of his cookie then inconspicuously snuck a couple to the floor for later.

"Noooooooooooooooo" Jenn cried when she finally spied the incapacitated cookie bits on the floor.  She reached down to collect the snacks from the cracks in the floor that minutes ago was home to the oatey thing and a couple of run away Rice Krispies.  Then she dusted them off, popped one in her mouth and put one on Zach's tray and said "Zach, we do NOT waste good cookies."

Some floor food is good - some floor food is bad - Mom will decide!

Oh Give Me a Home, Where the Buffalo Roam...

Submitted by Jennifer

So I don't think I have to tell you all by now that Clayton is a troublemaker. I think that it is more or less obvious at this point. When my nephews were just little tykes, and super impressionable, Clayton always joked that he was going to teach them incorrect things like their ABCs wrong, or mix up all their colors...just for fun! To my knowledge, he never did these things, although on one occasion, he convinced my eldest nephew that he really was able to guess the number that Clayton "had in his head". (Sorry Spyglass, it was all a setup!)

...Or there was the time that Clayton convinced this same nephew, as a tot, that he could pop a chocolate easter egg into one ear and out the other.  I had to cry out in horror as I witnessed, from across the room, my nephew preparing to slam a chocolate nugget into his ear, to try and stop him from carrying out the act!

KD has pretty much figured this out about her dad. It is not often that she falls for one of his ridiculous jokes. However, there have been times when she hasn't 'gotten' the joke, and this has been problematic...

Take for example a couple of summers ago. We were on a road trip to the mountains, and as is always our habit, we like to point out the sights to KD as we go. "Look at the horses! Hey, there's a train!", that type of thing. This is a great way to keep KD entertained along the way, and serves to satisfy that kid's natural curiosity. Win, win! Well, on this particular trip, Clayton spied a field of hay bales and piped up, "Hey look you guys, it's a herd of buffalo!". To this, we all had a good laugh and carried merrily on our way...never giving it another thought.

Fast forward about a year, to a short trip I was making by myself with both the kids in the car. We were driving along, looking at the sights, as usual, when I hear from the back seat,
"Buffalos! Mom, look! There's buffalos over there!"
"Buffalos?!?"
Now believe me when I tell you that I was not expecting to see buffalo on the way to Hecla Island, as this would be most unusual.

Yep! You guessed it! Hay bales! A whole field of them. Then I had to embark on the long explanation as to what they really are, and why daddy called them buffalo in the first place.
 This is my role as I see it...

Undoer of the damage...

Love Jen

Stalks and Bonds

I just had a T-Shirt sent to me from the Friends And Brothers International Organization which is a support organization for men going through rough periods.  I guess they stumbled across the blog and reached out to me.  They sent me some information, a link to their organization which can be found here, and a T-Shirt.

My new t-shirt courtesy of Friends And Brothers International Organization

"Jenn used to stalk me.  I didn't know it until we were engaged, but she used to find out where I was going to be and hang out there.  She planned a "spontaneous" meeting where she picked her moment and then struck.  She fed me Jäger Bombs to make sure I was in the right mood.  By the time I found out about how we actually came to meet, I was actually in love with her and let it slide."

For the full post click here.

The Key to Observation

Keep in mind that I can not be held responsible for the quality of the answers in the quiz below.

To find the original quiz, follow this link The Truth of the Matter: The Kitchen is a Gated Community before you read on.

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE

1.  On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?  Bottom

2.  How many states are there in the USA?  50

3.  In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?  Right

4.  Which six colours are on the classic Campbell's soup label?  Blue, Red, White, Yellow, Black and Gold

5.  What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?  1, 0

6.  When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?  Right

7.  How many matches are in a standard pack?  20

8.  On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?  Red

9.  What is lowest number on the FM dial?  88

10.  Which way does the water go down the drain, clockwise or counter-clockwise?  Clockwise (north of the equator)

11.  Which way does a no-smoking sign's slash run?  Towards the bottom right

12.  How many channels on a VHF TV dial?  12 (no #1)

13.  On which side of a woman's blouse are the buttons?  Left

14.  Which way do fans rotate?  Clockwise as you look at it

15.  What is on the back of a Canadian dime?  The Bluenose

16.  How many sides does a stop sign have?  8

17.  Do books have even numbered pages on the right or left side?  Left

18.  How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?  5

19.  How many sides are there on a standard pencil?  6

20.  Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc.  Who is missing?  Bashful

21.  How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?  8

22.  On which playing card is the card maker's logo?  Ace of Spades

23.  On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?  Left

24.  On the back of a Canadian $1 coin, what is in the centre?  A Loon

25.  There are 12 buttons on a touch phone.  What two symbols bear no digits?  *, #

26.  How many curves are there in a standard paper clip?  3

27.  Does a merry-go-round turn clockwise or counter-clockwise?  Counter-clockwise

Bowie and Donnie

Submitted by Jennifer
We have all been renamed in my family. Who knew that names could be so arbitrary and fluid? It all started about six weeks ago when KD decided that she and Zach and Clayton where going to play make-believe one evening. She dreamt up a scenario wherein she and her doll where going on a road trip to visit some friends and camp out at their place. She decided that she would be named Bowie, and her doll would be her baby, while Clayton and Zach would be Seedy and Donnie, respectively. I was not a part of this original game, but I have since been renamed Claydee. The thing is, ever since this evening of play, KD has insisted on referring to us by our made-up names. She will get up in the morning, walk into our bedroom, and in the best southern accent she can muster she will say,
"Good morning Seedy, good morning Claydee! How was your sleep? Where's Donnie? Is he still sleeping?"
We will either snort or roll our eyes (and smile) and say,
"Good morning Kadence."
She will promptly reply,
"My name is Bowie."
Uh...okay then.
I cannot tell you how many times I have overheard KD addressing her brother as Donnie, progressively getting more and more exasperated that he is not responding.  I am constantly reminding her that he is not doing what she wants because his name is NOT Donnie and he doesn't know that she is talking to him! This does not phase her one bit.
Today, I witnessed a frightening event. KD walked up behind Zach and said,
"Hi Donnie!"
Donnie, I mean Zach, turned around and smiled at her.

Heaven help us...

Claydee

The Look-at-me Phenomenon

Submitted by Jennifer

So you've probably all been wondering where I've been! The truth is that I have been around, for most of the time anyway, but I've admittedly been in kind of a writing funk lately! I think I have told Clayton that I will post something every day for the past two weeks and he has just reached the point of yeah, yeah...I won't hold my breath!  However, I am back now, and I have lots of fresh ideas, so without further ado....

I am the kind of person who needs to focus on the task at hand without interruption, or else I simply cannot think. I simply cannot read a book and carry on a conversation at the same time, I cannot drive and talk (or who knows where I will end up!), I cannot pay my bills and watch t.v., it just doesn't work for me. Unfortunately, this is not the case for either Clayton or KD.  Because of this, I often find myself being pulled in many different directions at one time.  They really don't understand that I can still love them and yet direct my attention elsewhere for any reason!  The biggest challenge this creates for me is what I like to call the look-at-me phenomenon!  It goes something like this...

I am reading/replying to emails or any other task at hand for that matter,
"Mom! Mom! Look at me!".
I tear my attention away from the task at hand in order to observe whatever feat KD is trying to demonstrate.
She begins.
"Jen! Look! Look what Zach is doing"
I look over at whatever Zach is attempting, usually a fraction of a second too late to actually see anything.
Clayton shoots me a disappointed look for my having missed it while simultaneously KD says,
"Did you see the whole thing mom?"
"uh...no...sorry. Can you show me again?"
KD then shoots me a disgusted look for having not seen the whole thing...
She begins again...
"Jen! Jen! Look!"
Then I pick up the pieces of my exploded brain and we carry on!

I wouldn't have it any other way...

Jen

The Kitchen is a Gated Community

Submitted by Clayton...

4 or 5 years ago I received in my inbox an e-mail entitled "LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE".

I have been thinking of this e-mail a lot lately because Jenn and I have baby gates up on the main floor of our house.  These gates have been up ever since Zach began his scooting around a few months ago.  Kadence, Jenn and I are all used so used to these obstacles (at what point do they officially get called furniture?) that we have developed new routines to complete our daily tasks.  Kadence has learned to take her dishes to the kitchen in a series of steps that include stashing dishes nearby so she can reach over the gate to retrieve them.  I am healing from an ACL reconstruction, so these gates are a sort of physiotherapy that require contortion of both the body and the face.  Jenn has learned to leap frog the gate as if it was a party game. (It looks odd, but is effective).

The truth about it is, often times in mid climb, I realize Zach has been in bed for six hours.  Why in the world have I been playing doorway twister all that time?  Sometimes the baby gates stay in place for days, even though their containment value only stretches over parts of the day.

I know that Kadence would disagree that this is a hurdle in our home, as she treats it as jungle gym.

KD - "Hey Dad, look at me..."
Me - "SHRIEK"
KD - "Isn't this cool, Dad?"
Me - "Ok, very slowly, take your feet from the door frame and very carefully put them on the top of the gate, where your hands are..."

I think at this point, Jenn would say "What baby gates?"

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE

1.  On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?

2.  How many states are there in the USA?

3.  In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?

4.  Which six colours are on the classic Campbell's soup label?

5.  What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?

6.  When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?

7.  How many matches are in a standard pack?

8.  On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?

9.  What is lowest number on the FM dial?

10.  Which way does the water go down the drain, clockwise or counter-clockwise?

11.  Which way does a no-smoking sign's slash run?

12.  How many channels on a VHF TV dial?

13.  On which side of a woman's blouse are the buttons?

14.  Which way do fans rotate?

15.  What is on the back of a Canadian dime?

16.  How many sides does a stop sign have?

17.  Do books have even numbered pages on the right or left side?

18.  How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?

19.  How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

20.  Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc.  Who is missing?

21.  How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?

22.  On which playing card is the card maker's logo?

23.  On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?

24.  On the back of a Canadian $1 coin, what is in the centre?

25.  There are 12 buttons on a touch phone.  What two symbols bear no digits?

26.  How many curves are there in a standard paper clip?

27.  Does a merry-go-round turn clockwise or counter-clockwise?

OK, so having search found and now typed this quiz out, I now realize it is american, it is old and not particularly creative.  There are a few questions that will make you wonder why you don't know the answer, and i guess that just shows us how we see without processing sometimes.  I'll give you a week or so before I post the answers, I hope you enjoy it!

That's it for me today, if on my way to bed I see a hurdle, I'll adjust my gait.