Fuji Saddness

Submitted by Jennifer


So we recently decided to cash in our airmiles and obtain a decent point-and-shoot camera with them.  Seeing as this would be our camera for trekking around and traveling etc., we opted for a shock-proof, water-proof, grubby-kid-finger-proof, throw-it-off-a-tall-building-proof kinda model.  Something we would never have to worry about keeping out of the rain, or cold, or heat or whatever the elements could send our way.

Approximately two months ago we received our handy little camera in the mail, and it was love right from the start.  The picture quality was great.  The camera was already proving to be quite resistant, just as promised....and then something happened...


About two weeks ago, Clayton and the kids went for a swim in his parents backyard pool.  Clayton decided to give the underwater features on the camera a try.  The camera advertised to be water resistant for up to something like thirty feet.  I came home from work that evening to the news that taking the camera in the pool had indeed fried the camera.  The good news was the memory card was salvaged, and even some of the underwater photos...


I had a look through them the other day, as I was preparing the photos for my previous post.


I think I figured out what did the camera in...

Busy, busy...

Submitted by Jennifer

Hey there everyone, 

I know that we have become delinquent bloggers.  The truth is that we ran out of steam a little bit, and life got really busy for a while.  Clayton has abandoned ship so from now on it is just going to be little ole me here at The Truth, but if you are willing to bear with me, I am going to try to get back to regular posting once again.  To start things off, I thought I would give you a little taste of just what it has been that has kept us too busy for the blogosphere these past few months.  

For starters, I have returned to work.  The return to work was both a dreaded and much anticipated event for me.  While I was sad to give up my life of TOTAL freedom, I was also quite eager to have a little (ahem) adult interaction in my life again.  Clayton doesn't count because he is barely an adult at the best of times.  I am happy to report that the transition has been very smooth for all parties involved and we are settling into a nice routine around here.  When I returned to work after KD was born, I always had the prospect of another mat leave somewhere on the horizon, but this time I had to come to terms with the fact that I was going back to work for. the. rest. of. my. life.  Yes, ok...moving on now.  I'm over it.
So here's what we've been up to...

KD had her first soccer season this spring, and she rocked the field like a pro....

So did Little Z, I might add...we actually had a hard time keeping him off the field!

The windup, complete with a medal, soccer bag and free meal at BP...

KD also had her dance recital, my little ballerina...oops...tap dancer, that is!

You will have to forgive the atrocious videography, I was trying not to miss a single moment, while capturing the whole thing on tape...the mad clicking you hear during the second half is me trying to hit the zoom out button and failing miserably...

Playing in the yard...

Checking out the new Children's garden at Assiniboine Park...aka Cinnamon Park

Hangin' at the Zoo...rough, I know eh?

Eating ice cream...a rather favourite pastime...

Gardening...

More playing in the yard...

For all you naysayers, he CHOOSES to wear his helmet...

...and washing the car...

So there you have it...busy, busy, busy...

Until next time...

Jen

Say What?

Submitted by Jennifer

As we were sitting down to dinner tonight KD said to me,

"We made flower pots in school today for Father's day...It's a surprise...Don't tell Daddy!"

Alright then...


Jen

Remote Control

Submitted by Jennifer

It always amazes me at how technologically savvy the younger sect can be. I guess it is because they are growing up with all this technology and they don't know any different. While I learned about the Internet in third year university struggling to wade my way through Unix HTML programming while having no real comprehension of just what exactly it was I was trying to accomplish, KD has always had the world at her fingertips, just the click of a button away.

Now this is not to say that KD has had free reign by any stretch of the imagination. Her computer experience has been limited entirely to the occasional games that Clayton outlined in his last post and a couple of hours of Dora's Crystal Kingdom on the Mac. Still, from the first time she picked up the iPad, she had no problem figuring out exactly how it worked.

The same holds true for the remote control for the television. I am not a believer in letting babies play with the remote control. I simply think that children need to learn from a very young age that some things are just off limits. KD was taught not to touch and it is only just recently that I have shown her how to change the channel on the T.V.

Now the process of teaching a toddler not to touch the remote is a grueling and arduous proposition. It involves taking it away, every five or so seconds, for about a year before any headway is made. Little Z is just starting to get the message and he now very considerately brings the remote to me each time he finds it within his reach.

KD, on the other hand, was much more slick. One time when she was not quite a year old, I was folding laundry in the living room while she was playing happily on the floor. I went off to her bedroom to put away the laundry, and was not out of the room for more than thirty seconds when I heard the very distinctive sound of the MGM theme song coming from the living room.

"What the...?!?".

I made it back to living room just in time to see the opening credits of "American Gangster" playing across the television screen. It would seem that KD had not only tracked down the remote in my absence, but she had managed to order a very inappropriate pay-per-view movie in that time!

Then we added "west side" to her baby sign flash cards...

Needless to say, we did not watch the movie...

Jen

Kndcvvfjgfhbkgjuhyvjfkadencekjj@tffcfcf@

Submitted by Clayton...

As a special treat, from time to time, Kadence is allowed to use the ipad.  She is really quite adept at navigating the little computer.  With no help at all she can...

...play Cut the Rope.  If there is ever a career where she can get paid to cut ropes she will be a very happy person.

She can fling Angry Birds into buildings.  I will do my best to dissuade her from making this into a career, but for now, what can it hurt?

She can crash a police car like nobody's business.  I guess there is a reason you don't see 4 year old police officers.

She can build goo structures.  She also has been building houses out of straw at school - as earth friendly this might be, it is not really her cup of tea as she'd rather be a Big Bad Wolf than a lazy little pig.

I'm not sure that there are many openings for princesses in this economic climate, however, it is her dream job.  Yes that is her modelling her princess clothes.

She can also try to surf the net.  I think she may need to broaden her search a bit - Kndcvvfjgfhbkgjuhyvjfkadencekjj@tffcfcf@ is a little to specific.  (I love the fact that she typed her name in the middle of it!)

So if any of you in the blogosphere has a job for a mud architect who regally cuts the ceremonial rope to unveil her work before turning around and smashing birds into her specific type of structure, let me know.  Keep in mind that she has a poor driving record...

My Dear, Head Gear

Submitted by Clayton...

In response to Jenn's last post, A Tough Nut to Crack;

Perhaps Jenn's parents never felt the need to make her wear a helmet because she was so hard-headed.

I imagine when Jenn was younger, she was one of those rebellious children who left the house for school wearing one thing, but when her parents were long out of sight, she'd reach into her knapsack and pull out her disallowed clothing - her helmet, carefully place it on her head, making sure the straps fit and that the helmet met all current Canadian safety standards by checking her Junior Consumer Reports magazine and then quietly returned to the sidewalk (you shouldn't walk on the grass) where she would walk safely to school.

You will never get her to shake her belief in helmets.  The one period of her life that she threw caution to the wind and left her helmet at home, she walked smack into a glass door at the mall.  That was all the confirmation she needed.

Does this explain her passion for famous fashion photographer Helmut Newton?  Or maybe her love of the Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader?  It's all coming together now, isn't it!

The unfortunate side effect is that now KD has got to wear a helmet everywhere.  You think I'm exaggerating? I would like to submit exhibit #1 into evidence.

Now really, how dangerous can playing with Grandma really be?  This is not an aberration - I would like to submit exhibit #2 for your review.

Seriously.  A walk in the grass.  Ridiculous.  I can only imagine that Jenn was thinking if a strong wind comes along and a branch falls on KD's head or maybe if frozen poop from an airplane 35 000 feet in the air happens to come hurling through space, I really don't know...

Consider my final piece of evidence, submission #3.

Push-ups.  I rest my case.

Make that, I rest my head case.

A Tough Nut to Crack

Submitted by Jennifer

I have to admit that I'm a bit of a nut when it comes to safety. My family loves to tease me about this to no end. I am very aware of this quirk in my personality. Over the years I know that there have been more times than I can count that I have observed people doing things that I would consider foolish and have been heard to say something along the lines of,
"Now that's a head injury waiting to happen...".

I may or may not have said it so frequently that Clayton may or may not have deemed it my 'slogan'.


My parents have been right on this bandwagon of ribbing me about this particular preoccupation, showing no mercy what-so-ever. For my part, I think I have shown considerable restraint when it comes to imposing my safety hangups on my children. To date, KD has only been required to wear her helmut for biking, riding her scooter, and ice skating. Little Z has only been required to wear his helmut for riding in his stroller, wagon rides, walking and brushing his teeth...what?

 Nooooo...he doesn't even own a helmet...yet.


So you can all imagine my surprise when I recently learned that my I may just come by this particular brand of nuttiness honestly. My mother swore up and down, left, right, and center that in my day, children were never required to wear helmets for anything, much less her children! Then a couple of months ago she somewhat sheepishly sent me an email with this photo that she discovered while going through some things...

Well, look what we have here...

...that would be me...wearing the helmet!  That would be my mom, standing right behind me!  Huh...

...and if you are having any difficulty reading the caption, it says, "BTW, Dad said: just tell her she insisted!"
However, like me, my mother seemed to show some restraint as well...I am not wearing a helmet to swing or stand in a tree, activities for which I would definitely consider having my kids wear helmets...(although the tree picture is somewhat questionable, but on close inspection, I am pretty sure that is just my hair!)

Not so nutty after all...

Love,
Jen

P.S.  I have no idea who the crazy cat people in the bottom left hand corner are...pretty sure they are just some random people who bear no relation what-so-ever to my family...

Bikes, Bagels And Incapacitated Cookies

Submitted by Clayton...

Monster Cookie Monster

Mmmmmm bagels!

WWWWWWWWHHHAAAATTTTTTTTTTT?  Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes, Thank you Daddy, Thank you mommy, YES!!!

Kadence loves to love the things she loves.  You would think that if this is her reaction to going for a walk, she would seizure her way through Christmas morning.

Before we could go on our adventure, we had a few errands to do.  We piled into the car and headed to the butcher's for some sirloin steaks to BBQ, then we headed to the baker's where we picked up some mouth-watering bread and some treats for our walk.  (Did you know that candlestick maker's do not work on Mondays?  Very strange.)

Kadence headed the convoy with her 2009 Dream Journey with Dual wheel assist suspension.  Zach brought up the rear with his little red wagon.  (The front seat's broken and the axel's dragging).

Midway through our adventure we stopped for our snacks.  Both kids ate a bit and saved the rest for dessert  as supper would be soon.

One hand on his dessert and one eye on his Mom.

As I prepared supper, I heard the 5 O'Clock bells chime...

"Zach!  What do you have in your mouth?"

(Yup, right on time - every hour on the hour.)

I peered around the corner to see Jenn kneeling on the floor with a wrinkled up nose saying "Ewww, Zachey, we do not eat food off the floor, that's gross, OK Bud?"  and then turning to me "What is this?  I'm sure it's food but, I have no idea what it is supposed to be."  (She had a point - I have no idea what it was, but it might've had an oat in it - definitely food though, very strange.)  She turned back to Bud "No more eating off the floor, supper's coming right away."

With that she plunked him in the booster seat.

Food was served, food was eaten.

For dessert the kids were given the rest of their adventure treats; Zach an oatmeal and raisin cookie and Kadence a bagel.  (She doesn't know that donuts aren't called bagels - Jenn doesn't correct her - it is one of her buffalo hay bales).  -----> When you point the finger at someone honey, 4 fingers point right back at you......and don't throw rocks in glass houses....he without sin...lead balloons and come on legorillpass themurphiesaaaaahhhhhhhhhoooooOOOKKKKKKK so that went off topic...

Zach ate a couple of pieces of his cookie then inconspicuously snuck a couple to the floor for later.

"Noooooooooooooooo" Jenn cried when she finally spied the incapacitated cookie bits on the floor.  She reached down to collect the snacks from the cracks in the floor that minutes ago was home to the oatey thing and a couple of run away Rice Krispies.  Then she dusted them off, popped one in her mouth and put one on Zach's tray and said "Zach, we do NOT waste good cookies."

Some floor food is good - some floor food is bad - Mom will decide!

Oh Give Me a Home, Where the Buffalo Roam...

Submitted by Jennifer

So I don't think I have to tell you all by now that Clayton is a troublemaker. I think that it is more or less obvious at this point. When my nephews were just little tykes, and super impressionable, Clayton always joked that he was going to teach them incorrect things like their ABCs wrong, or mix up all their colors...just for fun! To my knowledge, he never did these things, although on one occasion, he convinced my eldest nephew that he really was able to guess the number that Clayton "had in his head". (Sorry Spyglass, it was all a setup!)

...Or there was the time that Clayton convinced this same nephew, as a tot, that he could pop a chocolate easter egg into one ear and out the other.  I had to cry out in horror as I witnessed, from across the room, my nephew preparing to slam a chocolate nugget into his ear, to try and stop him from carrying out the act!

KD has pretty much figured this out about her dad. It is not often that she falls for one of his ridiculous jokes. However, there have been times when she hasn't 'gotten' the joke, and this has been problematic...

Take for example a couple of summers ago. We were on a road trip to the mountains, and as is always our habit, we like to point out the sights to KD as we go. "Look at the horses! Hey, there's a train!", that type of thing. This is a great way to keep KD entertained along the way, and serves to satisfy that kid's natural curiosity. Win, win! Well, on this particular trip, Clayton spied a field of hay bales and piped up, "Hey look you guys, it's a herd of buffalo!". To this, we all had a good laugh and carried merrily on our way...never giving it another thought.

Fast forward about a year, to a short trip I was making by myself with both the kids in the car. We were driving along, looking at the sights, as usual, when I hear from the back seat,
"Buffalos! Mom, look! There's buffalos over there!"
"Buffalos?!?"
Now believe me when I tell you that I was not expecting to see buffalo on the way to Hecla Island, as this would be most unusual.

Yep! You guessed it! Hay bales! A whole field of them. Then I had to embark on the long explanation as to what they really are, and why daddy called them buffalo in the first place.
 This is my role as I see it...

Undoer of the damage...

Love Jen

Stalks and Bonds

I just had a T-Shirt sent to me from the Friends And Brothers International Organization which is a support organization for men going through rough periods.  I guess they stumbled across the blog and reached out to me.  They sent me some information, a link to their organization which can be found here, and a T-Shirt.

My new t-shirt courtesy of Friends And Brothers International Organization

"Jenn used to stalk me.  I didn't know it until we were engaged, but she used to find out where I was going to be and hang out there.  She planned a "spontaneous" meeting where she picked her moment and then struck.  She fed me Jäger Bombs to make sure I was in the right mood.  By the time I found out about how we actually came to meet, I was actually in love with her and let it slide."

For the full post click here.

The Key to Observation

Keep in mind that I can not be held responsible for the quality of the answers in the quiz below.

To find the original quiz, follow this link The Truth of the Matter: The Kitchen is a Gated Community before you read on.

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE

1.  On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?  Bottom

2.  How many states are there in the USA?  50

3.  In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?  Right

4.  Which six colours are on the classic Campbell's soup label?  Blue, Red, White, Yellow, Black and Gold

5.  What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?  1, 0

6.  When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?  Right

7.  How many matches are in a standard pack?  20

8.  On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?  Red

9.  What is lowest number on the FM dial?  88

10.  Which way does the water go down the drain, clockwise or counter-clockwise?  Clockwise (north of the equator)

11.  Which way does a no-smoking sign's slash run?  Towards the bottom right

12.  How many channels on a VHF TV dial?  12 (no #1)

13.  On which side of a woman's blouse are the buttons?  Left

14.  Which way do fans rotate?  Clockwise as you look at it

15.  What is on the back of a Canadian dime?  The Bluenose

16.  How many sides does a stop sign have?  8

17.  Do books have even numbered pages on the right or left side?  Left

18.  How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?  5

19.  How many sides are there on a standard pencil?  6

20.  Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc.  Who is missing?  Bashful

21.  How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?  8

22.  On which playing card is the card maker's logo?  Ace of Spades

23.  On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?  Left

24.  On the back of a Canadian $1 coin, what is in the centre?  A Loon

25.  There are 12 buttons on a touch phone.  What two symbols bear no digits?  *, #

26.  How many curves are there in a standard paper clip?  3

27.  Does a merry-go-round turn clockwise or counter-clockwise?  Counter-clockwise

Bowie and Donnie

Submitted by Jennifer
We have all been renamed in my family. Who knew that names could be so arbitrary and fluid? It all started about six weeks ago when KD decided that she and Zach and Clayton where going to play make-believe one evening. She dreamt up a scenario wherein she and her doll where going on a road trip to visit some friends and camp out at their place. She decided that she would be named Bowie, and her doll would be her baby, while Clayton and Zach would be Seedy and Donnie, respectively. I was not a part of this original game, but I have since been renamed Claydee. The thing is, ever since this evening of play, KD has insisted on referring to us by our made-up names. She will get up in the morning, walk into our bedroom, and in the best southern accent she can muster she will say,
"Good morning Seedy, good morning Claydee! How was your sleep? Where's Donnie? Is he still sleeping?"
We will either snort or roll our eyes (and smile) and say,
"Good morning Kadence."
She will promptly reply,
"My name is Bowie."
Uh...okay then.
I cannot tell you how many times I have overheard KD addressing her brother as Donnie, progressively getting more and more exasperated that he is not responding.  I am constantly reminding her that he is not doing what she wants because his name is NOT Donnie and he doesn't know that she is talking to him! This does not phase her one bit.
Today, I witnessed a frightening event. KD walked up behind Zach and said,
"Hi Donnie!"
Donnie, I mean Zach, turned around and smiled at her.

Heaven help us...

Claydee

The Look-at-me Phenomenon

Submitted by Jennifer

So you've probably all been wondering where I've been! The truth is that I have been around, for most of the time anyway, but I've admittedly been in kind of a writing funk lately! I think I have told Clayton that I will post something every day for the past two weeks and he has just reached the point of yeah, yeah...I won't hold my breath!  However, I am back now, and I have lots of fresh ideas, so without further ado....

I am the kind of person who needs to focus on the task at hand without interruption, or else I simply cannot think. I simply cannot read a book and carry on a conversation at the same time, I cannot drive and talk (or who knows where I will end up!), I cannot pay my bills and watch t.v., it just doesn't work for me. Unfortunately, this is not the case for either Clayton or KD.  Because of this, I often find myself being pulled in many different directions at one time.  They really don't understand that I can still love them and yet direct my attention elsewhere for any reason!  The biggest challenge this creates for me is what I like to call the look-at-me phenomenon!  It goes something like this...

I am reading/replying to emails or any other task at hand for that matter,
"Mom! Mom! Look at me!".
I tear my attention away from the task at hand in order to observe whatever feat KD is trying to demonstrate.
She begins.
"Jen! Look! Look what Zach is doing"
I look over at whatever Zach is attempting, usually a fraction of a second too late to actually see anything.
Clayton shoots me a disappointed look for my having missed it while simultaneously KD says,
"Did you see the whole thing mom?"
"uh...no...sorry. Can you show me again?"
KD then shoots me a disgusted look for having not seen the whole thing...
She begins again...
"Jen! Jen! Look!"
Then I pick up the pieces of my exploded brain and we carry on!

I wouldn't have it any other way...

Jen

The Kitchen is a Gated Community

Submitted by Clayton...

4 or 5 years ago I received in my inbox an e-mail entitled "LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE".

I have been thinking of this e-mail a lot lately because Jenn and I have baby gates up on the main floor of our house.  These gates have been up ever since Zach began his scooting around a few months ago.  Kadence, Jenn and I are all used so used to these obstacles (at what point do they officially get called furniture?) that we have developed new routines to complete our daily tasks.  Kadence has learned to take her dishes to the kitchen in a series of steps that include stashing dishes nearby so she can reach over the gate to retrieve them.  I am healing from an ACL reconstruction, so these gates are a sort of physiotherapy that require contortion of both the body and the face.  Jenn has learned to leap frog the gate as if it was a party game. (It looks odd, but is effective).

The truth about it is, often times in mid climb, I realize Zach has been in bed for six hours.  Why in the world have I been playing doorway twister all that time?  Sometimes the baby gates stay in place for days, even though their containment value only stretches over parts of the day.

I know that Kadence would disagree that this is a hurdle in our home, as she treats it as jungle gym.

KD - "Hey Dad, look at me..."
Me - "SHRIEK"
KD - "Isn't this cool, Dad?"
Me - "Ok, very slowly, take your feet from the door frame and very carefully put them on the top of the gate, where your hands are..."

I think at this point, Jenn would say "What baby gates?"

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE

1.  On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?

2.  How many states are there in the USA?

3.  In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?

4.  Which six colours are on the classic Campbell's soup label?

5.  What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?

6.  When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?

7.  How many matches are in a standard pack?

8.  On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?

9.  What is lowest number on the FM dial?

10.  Which way does the water go down the drain, clockwise or counter-clockwise?

11.  Which way does a no-smoking sign's slash run?

12.  How many channels on a VHF TV dial?

13.  On which side of a woman's blouse are the buttons?

14.  Which way do fans rotate?

15.  What is on the back of a Canadian dime?

16.  How many sides does a stop sign have?

17.  Do books have even numbered pages on the right or left side?

18.  How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?

19.  How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

20.  Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc.  Who is missing?

21.  How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?

22.  On which playing card is the card maker's logo?

23.  On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?

24.  On the back of a Canadian $1 coin, what is in the centre?

25.  There are 12 buttons on a touch phone.  What two symbols bear no digits?

26.  How many curves are there in a standard paper clip?

27.  Does a merry-go-round turn clockwise or counter-clockwise?

OK, so having search found and now typed this quiz out, I now realize it is american, it is old and not particularly creative.  There are a few questions that will make you wonder why you don't know the answer, and i guess that just shows us how we see without processing sometimes.  I'll give you a week or so before I post the answers, I hope you enjoy it!

That's it for me today, if on my way to bed I see a hurdle, I'll adjust my gait.

Just Desserts

Submitted by Clayton...

I came home from work today and Jenn and the kids were just finishing supper.  Well - Jennifer was done, Zach was done and KD was talking and eating and talking and eating and talking and...

I spoke with them about the day as Jenn had her dessert and then cleaned up Zach.  We kept talking as I cooked myself supper, ate my meal and cleaned up after myself.  All the while Jenn and I kept reminding KD "eat up".

Eventually the chicken burger vs. KD ended in a TKO for the chicken burger.  Before KD tapped out, I asked her if she was sure she was done, because she wouldn't get anymore food before bedtime.  She said she was sure and as I excused her from the table, I looked at the clock and announced "Bedtime!"

It's A Good Thing, Jenn Kidded Me!

Submitted by Clayton...

Jenn, the kids and I were at the hospital today picking up Jenn's hours in anticipation of her return to work from maternity leave.

As we headed back to the parkade, Jenn realized that we had walked by the pay station and she needed to head back.  I told her I would get the kids in the car while she paid.  I took Zach from her and I gave her my coffee to hold.  Once I had the kids strapped in and Jenn had paid our fees, we started backing out of the parking spot.  I went to grab my coffee and realized that my cup holder was *gasp* empty.  I turned to Jenn and asked where my coffee ended up.

Jenn grinned and said "Um, I'll be right back" and darted from the car.  I tracked her as she ran around the car and back up the hallway to the pay station.

In no time at all, she was back at the car, coffee in hand.  As she handed it to me I said, "It's a good thing I gave you the coffee and I took Zach."

Shipping Zach Off To The Doctor

Submitted by Clayton...


I have zebra muscles.

No, no, not the stripey, are they white or are they black stripes, baking in the Savannah type of zebra muscles.  Although if I was a horse, I think I might like to get a zebra "sleeve" tattoo - that would be cool.

Zebra Mussels.

That's better.

So really I don't have zebra muscles per se (although I ripped a mystery leach off my hind quarters this past summer), I have a zebra mussel for a child.

Zach has been walking around walls and tables for a couple of weeks now and recently he's become very slick in his manoeuvring.  I've found that if I am standing stationary for more than 6 seconds, he will search me out and "plop" "plop" I feel 2 hands gripping my knees.  When I look down I see a big toothy grin staring back at me.  He is now along for the ride.

When he is feeling particularly daring, he will attach himself to my legs as I am walking if he is already standing nearby.  This can create a small logistical problem if I am doing something like carrying the zebra mussel's big sister to bed when she has passed out after a long day.  Seriously, what do you do?  If you know, comment ASAP because I am standing here with a sleeping kid, a zebra mussel on my leg and I'm typing with my chin on the ipad resting on the sleeping child's forehead.  Kinda stuck here...

Strangely, "What to Expect When You Are Expecting" has a chapter on the subject.  I've copied an excerpt below and bolded the necessary points.

Zebra mussels are relatively small, with adults ranging from 0.25 to 1.5 in (0.63 to 3.8 cm) long.^[3] They have tiny stripes down their shells. Zebra Mussels have a D-shaped shell. They attach to things with 'strings', byssal threads, which come out of their umbo on the dorsal (hinged) side. Removal of the mussel is therefore difficult.


I've got an appointment for Zach tomorrow.  I just wish I knew where his umbo was so I don't sound stupid when I'm explaining his problem.

From Bearly Stressed to Barely Stressed.

Submitted by Clayton...

By nature, Jenn is a stressful person.

What I love about her is that she is a student about such things.

She locks her issue up, processes it and then one day it is done (usually replaced by a newer more exciting point of stress).

Case and point #1.

Jenn wanted to make a career change when she felt that managing a restaurant / lounge was unrewarding and a dead end career.  She wanted to become a nurse but when you've got bills to pay, taking on 4 years of schooling while working and being a homeowner with the related bills, it is obviously a very big commitment.  She wasn't ready to make the change right away, but after thinking about it for some time, one day the switch was flipped and she announced she was ready to do it.  That was that, the stress went away.  The way she processes things is almost predictable.  I like that she doesn't shy away from the stress, she deals with it.

If there is something that is on her mind and she can go to a book about it, she will.  She is very much a student of things.  And in all things she has always been a very good student.

Case and point #2.

We were on a trip to the states and decided to drive through a wildlife reserve.  As we drove down the main road of the compound, way off in the distance Jenn spotted a black bear walking across the road.  As I squinted to confirm that yes there was a bear way up there, Jenn slammed her hand down on the lock of her door and ordered me to turn the car around.  I assured her we were way to far away for the bear to even know that we were around and that our black Neon would appear more like a much bigger bear than a package holding 2 tasty treats.  She was not to be consoled.

As I said earlier, "By nature, Jenn is a stressful person."

The next year we went for a hike in the whiteshell.  As we entered the mouth of the trail, we spied a black bear eating berries in the bush about a buffet table away from us.  Jenn shrugged her shoulders and said, "Oh well, let's go" and started walking up the trail.  Consider that issue processed.

That's my wife and I love her for it!

My Friends (by Kadence)

Submitted by Kadence...

Hi, I am going to tell you about all my friends.  I hope you come and play with my friends one day at my house.  They are very fun friends to play with.

The first friend I want you to meet is Ooga-Booga.  I love Ooga-Booga and he is a my very best friend.  I love him very much and I can't even cry and I can't even fall down too.

This is  my very very very best friend, Spider.  I love him so much that I can't even snuggle up in my blankets.  He is so much fun to play with.

This is Cousin Louie, he visits a lot.  I really have a lot of fun with him and play with him a lot.  Why don't you come over and play with him with me.  Lets have lots of super duper fun.  I really want to go to the playground with Cousin Louie, Spider and you guys one day.  I love when he hugs and kisses me.

I know I love Baby Spider, she is so much fun to play with and I see her always and every day.  I love her so much that I can't even love her and kiss her at the same time.

Brain Sucker sucks brains and we always take Brain Sucker everywhere and we always love him so much that we can't even cry.

This is Detective Dad and Detective Butterfly.  They interview Zach and they always detect everybody in the house but they don't know what to do so come on and explore with us.

Bye
KADENCE